Last year I went fishing with Salvador …
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He…
Last night somebody broke into my apartment …
Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates… When I…
Last night I stayed up late playing …
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full…
It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t …
It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it.
~ Steven Wright
Buy…
It doesn’t make a difference what temperature …
It doesn’t make a difference what temperature a room is, it’s always room temperature.
~…
If you shoot at mimes, should you …
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
~ Steven Wright
Buy awesome…
I was walking down the street wearing …
I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.
~ Steven…
I used to work in a fire …
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the…
I have an existential map. It has …
I have an existential map. It has ‘You are here’ written all over it.
~…
I bought some batteries, but they weren’t …
I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.
~ Steven Wright
Buy awesome books published…
Everywhere is walking distance if you have …
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
~ Steven Wright
Buy awesome books…
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a …
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
~ Steven Wright…