As a matter of principle, I never …
As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
~ George Carlin…
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you …
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof…
Honesty may be the best policy, but …
Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination,…
I think it’s the duty of the …
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is…
I’m completely in favor of the separation …
I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that…
I’m not concerned about all hell breaking …
I’m not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will…
If it’s true that our species is …
If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to…
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, …
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted,…
It’s never just a game when you’re …
It’s never just a game when you’re winning.
~ George Carlin
Buy awesome books published…
Some national parks have long waiting lists …
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait…
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that …
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You…
There are nights when the wolves are …
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
~ George…