My computer beat me at chess… so …
My computer beat me at chess… so I beat it at kickboxing.
~ Demetri Martin…
I bought a cactus. A week later …
I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I…
I go to the gym religiously. About …
I go to the gym religiously. About twice a year around the holidays.
~ Demetri…
Nearly one-half of all Americans are torsos. …
Nearly one-half of all Americans are torsos.
~ Demetri Martin
Buy awesome books published by…
I like sports bars. Sports bars are …
I like sports bars. Sports bars are great because they collect all of the people…